I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
