pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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