If that was your dad, he is hot
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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