I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
