i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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