the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
