Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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