i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize