Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just took my morning after pill in the library
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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