i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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