In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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