Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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