Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
