I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
