Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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