I've blown a few things in my day
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
