woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize