I think scott just propositioned me for sex
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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