Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
