i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize