This girl is more easily done than said...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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