if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
