dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
smell my finger.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
