never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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