You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
