I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
