I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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