Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
