Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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