my vag is so smooth its legendary
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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