You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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