It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
