I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
