im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
