Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
