Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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