This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she told me i tasted like america
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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