Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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