Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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