He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize