Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
