I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
