i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
no, he came in my armpit
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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