i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
