I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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