Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
