i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
