So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
