worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
