Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
