His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
this hospital has no fireball
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize