the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize