Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
