I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
