She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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