kristin has been a bad kristin
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
