it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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