Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
