Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he thought i was a dude.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
