I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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