I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
