took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
