There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
