The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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