Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
