when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
