Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
