I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
