epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm passing your future prison.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
