I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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